Can You Hear Me, Freddie?
by Bubbly-Weasley-Girl2
Summary: George is still grieving over Fred, so he talks to him at night. My post Potter Depression was particularly bad one day, so I wrote this. Rated T just to be safe. R&R, pwease? Fanks, friends


Hey Freddie, it's me, George. Wow, were do I even begin? Do I start by saying how I'm still in denial? How I wish could hate you for leaving me? How I keep kicking myself for leaving you during the fight? I don't know. That seems to be my answer to everything these days.

I've been trying to keep my head up, but how can I when my twin brother, my Partner in Crime, my other half of my being is gone? I don't smile that much anymore, because we always used to turn toward each other whenever we laughed or smiled. Now, I look all around me, and you aren't there. There's no one to finish my sentences for me, and there's no one to look at me in a way that says "Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What a stupid idea," or "yeah my thoughts exactly. Let's go for it!". I keep expecting to look up and see you come bursting into our room laughing about some small thing, you would tell me about it, and then we would just laugh and laugh for hours about the stupidest things. I swear, Mum and Ginny thought we were insane for like a month because they heard us laughing insanely hard and making bodily noises with our wands. Remember when we Charmed all of Ron's clothes pink for 3 weeks? I still don't know what the fuss was all about, he didn't look that bad, did he? I thought, if anything, it was a slight improvement. See, it's memories like those that make me miss you the most, we're never going to be able to do things like that again(the toilet incident was pretty good, we never got to top it).

Ever since I saw you lying dead in the Great Hall, I've been hating myself for leaving you alone in that battle. I know, all the excitement and confusion of it all, sometimes people get separated. But we SHOULDN'T have, Freddie! It makes me wonder what would have happened if I had stayed. Would you have survived, or would we both have died? Or would it be me that was killed? Or would Dad or Lee or someone else be dead instead of you? I hate myself for leaving, Freddie, but Dad and Lee needed help. I could FEEL it Freddie, I knew that something had happened to you. The feeling I got when you…left…was unexplainable, but I'll do the best I can. It was like someone had taken something hard and metal, and just plunged it through me, ripping apart my innards in the process. The world started to spin, and it felt like something was constricting my lungs. At first I thought I had been hit with some kind of curse, but then I realized I was just kidding myself, and that something truly horrible had happened to you. And I was right. When I saw you lying on the floor, pale and unmoving, I actually screamed in grief, agony, shock, so many different things. I ran right to you, and started shaking you as hard as I could, hoping and praying that you were just messing with us. When I finally grasped the fact that you weren't going to open your eyes, I came so, so close to lying down next to you, slitting my own throat, and dying with you.

Your funeral was, if possible, even harder. I have never bawled so hard in all my life as I watched them lower you into the ground. I got that same horrible urge to just jump down into the ground with you and just staying there. I know you wouldn't have wanted that, but at that point all I wanted to do was die. I know, Fred, I know I need to be strong and help the family through this, run the shop, and keep living without you, but without you here to help me, none of that seems possible anymore. Not even Angelina could make me feel better, I know you guys split up a while ago, but I can tell she still cares for you. You should have seen her at the funeral Freddie, she looked like she was feeling almost as bad as I am. She's a great girl, Freddie.

I know we never said this enough, and there's no real way I can tell you now Fred, but I love you. I love you so much, and if I could see you in person right now, I would hug you as tightly as I could, and say it over and over: I love you Freddie, I love you Freddie, I love you Freddie. Also, I admit it: you were the better of the two of us, Fred. Me, I was always the quieter one, the one who had to make sure his brother did his homework BEFORE he tested new products. But you, there was always something about you, this energy that came off you, something I didn't have. Whenever you walked into a room, the place instantly brightened, and the mood was always lifted, like you gave off some kind of light. That sparkle in your eye that gave people the impression we were up to something(which we always were anyway), your laugh, a little bit louder than mine, a little bit goofier-sounding, the way you walked with a spring in your step, your arms swinging by your sides. You always had this charisma that drew people to you, and you were also a bit more outgoing where the ladies were concerned. There was a reason they called us "Fred and George", and not "George and Fred". But now that you're gone, that energy is gone, the entire world is dark, everything is in shades of gray now. I love you, Forge, don't leave me alone. Can you hear me Freddie? When you left, part of me went with you. I'm incomplete now.

Where will you be when I get married? Will you be there, invisible, standing where the best man stands, like we said we would at each other's weddings? Will you be there as I say "I Do", and I won't even know you're there? Or would you make your presence known to me, make a joke in my ear about how surprised you were that someone would take me? Will you be there when my kids are born? And yes, I promise to name the first one after you. It's stuff like this that scares me, Fred, because now I have to face the rest of the world on my own, with you no by my side.

OK, I've been rambling for a while now, and I know if you were here you would say "you THINK?" But somehow I feel like you're able to hear me, and even if you can't, I hope you know anyway. Can you hear me, Freddie? No one even knows I try to communicate with you like this, that I talk to you at night when everyone is asleep because that's when I feel most alone. I love you, Forge, I love you so much. Mum and Dad love you, Bill and Charlie love you, Ron and Ginny love you, even Percy loves you, too. Guess he didn't turn out to be as much of a pompous prat as we thought, huh? I hope it's nice, wherever you are, we'll meet again someday. While you're waiting, find the best spot to play Quidditch or set up a joke shop in Heaven, I'm sure even the dead need a laugh once in a while. You may be the better twin, Forge, but I can still beat you at Quidditch. Keep an eye on us, will you?

Just an hour or so after you…you died… Neville said we keep the fallen in our hearts, but here's the thing: how do we keep things in our heart when it's broken? Come back, Freddie, don't leave me alone. I need my little brother and partner in crime.


End file.
